January 28,2011

Oxymorons are everywhere in life: guilty pleasure, sweet sorrow, bittersweet, timeless moments… Life seems to be one big contradiction, or perhaps a balancing act between two opposites constantly seeking to find their equilibrium.

Each day after work, I toil and sweat through an hour and fifteen minutes of 108 degree hot yoga.  Most days, about 45 minutes through the session, I wish I was at home, relaxing on the couch I don’t have and savoring sweet coffee ice cream instead of trembling and shaking to hold a pose for just a few breaths longer.  My body is complaining as the sweat drips off my skin like salty raindrops, running into my nose, creeping into my mouth, sliding into my ears and filling my eyes.  I marvel as the instructor calmly announces, “If you’d like to challenge yourself, try holding up one leg as you descent do the count of five into crocodile.”  An agonizingly slow push-up follows and half-way down I collapse to my mat, my arms burning, my core muscles refusing to do more.  1…2….. 3…….4…. I push myself back up and hold it one breath to five , comforting myself with the fact that at least I made it here.  “Are we almost done?  We’ve been here a while, it must be cool-down time soon,” I find myself thinking.

Then finally, the moment arrives.  We begin to stretch and move more slowly until finally we lay down to rest.  My instructor and friend comes to me, gently pushing my shoulders down into my mat, pulling my sweaty head back, elongating my spine.  My body has no other choice but o relax.  I emerge from my self-induced torture renewed.  All my stress, fear, frustration and anger washed away in a hard-earned cleansing shower of my own sweat.